When I told people I was going to write a book of short comedy stories and letters to celebrities, they said "Adam, don't do that, no-one will care". That got me thinking about the monkey/ladder experiment. 5 monkeys are placed in a room. A banana is hung on the ceiling, above a ladder. As soon as any monkey attempts to climb the ladder all the monkeys are sprayed with freezing cold water. The monkeys learn, ladder = freezing cold water for everyone. Next, the scientists remove one monkey and replaced it with a new monkey. Naturally, this monkey heads straight for the ladder. At which point he is beaten up by the other monkeys. Why? He doesn't know, but learns it's best not to touch the ladder. The scientists continue swapping out the monkeys...
By the end, even once the water is turned off, you have five monkeys beating each other up to stop them touching a ladder and not a single one of them knows why.
A Picnic For Perverts is me defying popular wisdom and launching myself at that ladder. It may get us all wet.
~ Adam's Mum
Adam really does have a lot of great ideas. He also has a lot of really crappy ones, but let's not get distracted by that.
~ Adam's Brother
I don't read books ever because they are stupid and boring. But if I really had to read one, like if there was a gun to my head, I'd probably read this one!
~ Woman eating wasabi nut.
Not bad, I guess, if you actually like that kind of thing.
~ Manuel Meurer, Famous Book Critic
Having read several books, perhaps dozens, I'm happy to report this is absolutely not the worst.
~ Adam Fletcher
Two Thumbs Up!
~ Adam's girlfriend
Actually I expected much worse.
~ Homeless Man.
No, I'm not saying that. I might be homeless but I've still got my integrity. What? You'll give me what? OK, you're on. Um, this book is, like, really good and stuff.
Pdf, Mobi (Kindle) and ePub (iPad) versions all included when you buy the Ebook edition, offering 205 pages of brand new fiction awesomeness optimised for your reader.
My book contains 1154 official jokes. Another 255 were unintended but still hilarious. Sometimes I just can't stop. Stories optimised to last the duration of the average bowel movement, making APFP a great toilet read.
Obviously I can't speal and punctuate, but my editor can! So relax. My book looks and reads like the pros, instead of looking like the ramblings of a dyslexic child with a red crayon.
Will they? Won't they? Will they? Yes, they will. There are only two main characters, one is man, the other is a woman. They will.
Jipper the Labrador is on a heartwarming adventure to get home, teaching us all important lessons in loyalty and friendship.
Grow up kids, that shits retarded.
No problemo. Here is a run down of the chapters in the book described in a cryptic manner using just three nouns and one adjective. The chapters don't interrelate in any way. Well, other than the fact I wrote them all. Which is probably obvious.
Probably you can't believe there's more, but, take a break from throwing your money at the screen while I inform you - there is. The book also contains 7 hilarious fake product ads for such outlandish products as The Thin Suit and The Nihilists 8-Ball. I know, I spoil you!
Worry not, I have one of those new fangled blog thingies. You can read more stories and find photos of Cats that look like Hitler by clicking this button: